Je me suis vu aujourd'hui, dans ce parc, assis sur un banc ! Je me suis vu demain, quand, les années passées, je flânerai encore si mes jambes permettent. J'avais les cheveux blanc, je regardais au loin, comme si je retraçais mes années disparues, ma jeunesse perdue, plongé dans mes pensées. Je me suis regardé, pétrifié un moment, à l'idée de me dire que la vie allait passer si vite que je pouvais déja m'apercevoir... et sentir... sentir... toute la mélancolie alors de mon regard, encore et toujours, par delà le temps... au bout de la vie. Je me suis salué, me suis fait un sourire... comme pour m'excuser. Le "moi" au cheveux blanc n'a sans doute pas compris... où bien alors j'aurai oublié ce passant encore jeune... enfin, plus jeune d'une trentaine d'années... que je fus jadis, dans ce parc Montsouris, à promener, déja, ma sourde désespérance, traînant dans la poussière des allées le chagrin de mes amours perdues. Alors je me suis éloigné au beau soleil de juillet... me donnant secrètement rendez-vous un jour lointain, sur ce banc... Je ne me suis pas retourné, de peur de croiser mon regard, vieil homme assis qui se souvient alors.
I saw myself today, in this garden, sat on a bench ! I saw myself, tomorrow, when, some years in the future, i will be hanging around here if my legs still allow. I had white hair, and my eyes were like lost in the blur, like remembering my gone years, my gone youth… lost in thoughts and fading memories. What a strange feeling it was… I looked at myself, petrified for a while, at the thought that life was about to pass so fast that i could already see myself… and feel… feel… oh feel this terrible melancholy in my own eyes, still and again, at the other side of time… at the other side of my own life. I bowed to myself, and smiled a little too… like to apologize. The “me” with white hair didn’t seem to understand why… or maybe will i, then, have forgotten this young man passing today… forty years younger man… that i was then, now, in this Parisian garden, walking and carrying my already heavy heart along the dusty alleys in the sunny gardens. Then, i went away, silent and sad… and secretly giving myself a rendez-vous for this far away meeting in the future, on this same bench…looking at the same lake... I didn’t dare turning my head back on the old myself, in fear to look into my own eyes… eyes of this old man who suddenly remembers then…
I saw myself today, in this garden, sat on a bench ! I saw myself, tomorrow, when, some years in the future, i will be hanging around here if my legs still allow. I had white hair, and my eyes were like lost in the blur, like remembering my gone years, my gone youth… lost in thoughts and fading memories. What a strange feeling it was… I looked at myself, petrified for a while, at the thought that life was about to pass so fast that i could already see myself… and feel… feel… oh feel this terrible melancholy in my own eyes, still and again, at the other side of time… at the other side of my own life. I bowed to myself, and smiled a little too… like to apologize. The “me” with white hair didn’t seem to understand why… or maybe will i, then, have forgotten this young man passing today… forty years younger man… that i was then, now, in this Parisian garden, walking and carrying my already heavy heart along the dusty alleys in the sunny gardens. Then, i went away, silent and sad… and secretly giving myself a rendez-vous for this far away meeting in the future, on this same bench…looking at the same lake... I didn’t dare turning my head back on the old myself, in fear to look into my own eyes… eyes of this old man who suddenly remembers then…
Extrait de "Silhouettes" > roman.laurenthunziker.com
Nikon D300 | Nikkor 18-200mm | 1/1000 sec. | f:5.6 | 200 iso | 23/07/2008, 14:55 | Réf. photo N245
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